One month
by xXSakura-Hime-SamaXx
Summary: (AU) In my life, I've broken many rules Sakura. I've done horrid things, things I hope you never hear about, but everything I did, it was for a reason. Everything I did, it was for you.


**AN:Really, this one is open to interpretation. Take it however you'd like.**

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_Sakura,_

_How do I know you're reading this? You're probably puzzling your head over it right now, aren't you?_

_Well, I know you, and I know you'd eventually stumble across this and get too curious for your own good._

_I don't know if this is a day from my death, or even a year or two, but no matter what the date- I want you to know that it's okay._

_It's okay Sakura, you don't need to be upset, you don't need to be sad._

_You don't need to cry, not anymore._

_Everything I did, I did for you._

_In my life, I've broken many rules. I've done horrid things, things I hope you never hear about, but everything I did, it was for a reason._

_When I was younger, it was for my own selfish reasons, but as I got older, once we met?_

_It was for you._

_So that you could be happy._

_**Now, I want to tell you a story okay? A story about a man who loved a girl so much, that he'd do anything for her, even sell his soul.**_

_So please Sakura, what I did…I know it may seem out of the blue and wrong and horrible to you, but let me tell you a story and explain._

_I won't skip a detail._

_Not a single one._

_You deserve better than that._

_Please, just listen to my last month, let me explain why I did what I did._

_**One upon a time,**_

**Day 1:**

You got hit by a car.

You were dragging me across the road to go on a damn picnic of all things, and some bastard came speeding around the corner.

They hit you, and I'll never forget the sound your body made as it bounced around that day.

And you want to know the best part? They didn't stop.

Didn't even look back.

I don't remember much about what happened, I only remember crawling over and pulling you close.

Then, you were alive and breathing and wondering what was happening.

And I only had a month left to live.

**Day 2:**

You were still upset about me dragging you home the day before, so you weren't speaking to me today.

But that was okay, because I used that day to get everything in order.

Everything I owned, everything that was mine- would be yours.

You were the only one I'd allow to even think of touching my belongings.

**Day 3:**

You forgave me and took me out to a small café, and I finally found the nerve to kiss you.

I had the day you'd been revived, but you didn't remember that.

It was okay though, because the blush you gave me today made it all worth it.

**Day 4:**

We had text each other all day, both being too busy at work to see each other.

I don't know why I even went to work to be honest, I think I just wanted to do something to take my mind off things.

**Day 5:**

I took you out to see a movie, and wouldn't you know, it was a horror about selling your soul to save a loved one.

You joked the entire time about it being corny and sappy, but that's okay.

You'd always accused me of being a closet sap.

**Day 6:**

I lost my temper with Sasuke today, the boy going on and on about me dating you as usual.

Every other day, I'd just throw a sarcastic remark his way and be done with it.

But not today.

No, it took Itachi intervening to get me to stop going off at him.

I'm sorry I called you during work, but I just needed to talk.

Thank you for answering.

**Day 7:**

One week.

One week of my life gone, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

We spent the day together, just laying around my home watching movies (or doing paper work in my case), and I don't think I've ever felt so at peace.

Just getting to hold you close again is all I need right now.

**Day 8:**

We danced tonight at the party my company held.

It was a slow, sweet dance, but I'd never felt so alive.

And that look you gave me…I've never seen eyes so full of innocence.

**Day 9:**

Another day of work, and I know I should quit.

Let them find a replacement…maybe Itachi?

He'd be able to handle everything they'd throw at him.

**Day 10:**

You called me today, told me you'd had a nightmare, something involving death and laughter and burning and I'm sorry I panicked and sped over there.

But you don't need to remember any of that.

You don't need those memories.

**Day 11:**

You…you came by my office today at lunch, and I don't know who was more shocked to see me getting visitors- the staff, or _me_.

But it was wonderful, and I'm not sorry for keeping you there for hours with pointless talk.

Maybe now, my office won't seem so dreary.

Yes, I think I can stay here a little longer, especially if it means you'll drop by from time to time.

**Day 12:**

You had work today, and for once I actually felt alone.

I'm not used to the feeling, and before now I've never really experienced it.

It was strange, so I went and surprised you with flowers at work, just to get my mind off things.

I'm so glad you liked them, and even more relieved that you didn't mind me lingering to talk to you.

I…I don't like feeling alone.

**Day 13:**

I got you a necklace today, but I don't want to give it too you just yet. I may actually hold onto it until the end, leave it for you to find.

It's embarrassing, but I'm not sure if you'll like it or not.

Did I pick the right photos to go inside?

Will you like the colour and style?

Yes, I think I'll just leave it for you to find after I'm gone, then you won't feel obligated to keep it if you don't like it.

(It's in my desk drawer in case you haven't noticed yet, right behind that little glass paperweight you got me last year.)

**Day 14:**

Two weeks down, but at least we spent the day together, even if I did seem a little out of it.

I hope I'm not being too clingy, but I think I deserve this month of your life at least.

Just…just this last month.

**Day 15:**

We went swimming today, and I don't think I'll ever forget how you looked.

So bright and full of life.

I'm so glad I could bring that back to the world.

To me…

**Day 16:**

I was so tired, and not the usual exhaustion I get after over working myself. My eyes are burning, and my mouth feels like it's on fire.

What's wrong with me?

**Day 17:**

-Apparently I had a fever and slept through the entire day, thank you for caring for me.-

**Day 18:**

I didn't know what happened, but I woke up covered in blood that day.

I'm sorry I sounded so angry over the phone, but I just couldn't let you see me like that.

**Day 19:**

We had a stupid fight and now you aren't speaking to me.

I'm sorry Sakura, I don't know what's happening to me.

**Day 20:**

Still no word from you, but that's okay, I wouldn't want you to see me like this anyway.

**Day 21:**

You called me last night, and when I woke up today, I was twitchy and strung out and I don't know what's happening.

I'm…I'm scared Sakura.

I'm sorry for being so clingy.

**Day 22:**

Angry…I was so angry and I didn't know why.

Everything anyone did, even just breathing pissed me off.

But you, I could never be mad at you.

No, you calmed me that day.

You pulled me away from that fight and took me home.

I'm so sorry for worrying you.

**Day 23:**

We slept together for the first time today.

It was…I have no words to describe how beautiful you looked that day.

If I could marry you, I would have.

I would have dropped to my knees right then and there and swept you away forever.

**Day 24:**

I feel possessive.

Not like I normally am, but just….I can't explain it right now.

Every time I see you, I just get so edgy, like someone might sweep you away when I'm gone.

It's wrong, I know, but I want to be your first and your last.

I'd take you with me if I could, but I'm already regretting even writing it down.

I could never do that to you.

**Day 25: **

More blood, and I think I know what's happening.

It's….I'm changing.

My soul, it's going to hell quite literally. Piece by piece, I'm turning, changing, damning myself and getting ready for my fall.

I have no control over what I do sometimes, the main example being the body in my car trunk.

**Day 26:**

I took you out to dinner and made you get everything you'd ever wanted, never mind the blow my bank took.

I want to spoil you, I want to see you happy and smiling.

I want your last memories of me to be happy ones, something you can look back on in a few years and smile about.

**Day 27:**

Sasuke came by today and told me you were sick.

Very sick.

Bedridden even.

I rushed over, and I just knew I had to do something.

I don't _know_ what it was, but that light when I kissed you….I think it was my soul.

I think.

I'll just assume it was and live out these last few days content, believing what little good I have left is going to be left with you.

**Day 28:**

Have I ever told you about the day I knew I loved you?

It was years ago, back when you first started studying to be a doctor, and you came over to see Sasuke.

He said something, you punched him and told him to go to hell.

You'd looked so sad that day, and when I offered to take you home, you only looked up at me with those lovely green eyes while grinning and telling me you were a big girl and could do it yourself.

I'd known you for years, but that was the day I fell for you.

You'd never been one to let others carry you along.

**Day 29:**

I'm so sorry for making you cry.

But you can't see me like this.

As much as I want to call you over, as much as I want to hold you close and never let you go- I'm afraid I'll do just that if I see you. Whatever it is, it's taunting me, trying to make me call you, bring you with me.

But I won't.

I can't do that to you.

**Day 30: **

Today's the day Sakura. Today, I go to hell.

But that's okay, because you're alive, you're alive and happy and smiling and I'm so sorry that I have to leave you.

But it's for the best.

I can still feel that anger, that madness burning under my skin.

I know what it wants me to do, I know how it wants me to die.

And I'm so sorry you'll have to see it.

I love you Sakura Haruno, and I'd happily go to hell for you.

Goodbye, and please, don't try to bring me back.

I just know I won't be myself anymore.

**Day 31:**

_I'm sorry, but everything I did, I did for you._


End file.
